BethAnne

101 in 1001 update!

2011-09-11T12:48:00.001-05:00

There are quite a few of these that cannot be started until I'm no longer pregnant. However, I'm not as far along as I'd hoped - even though I'm only 14 days in!

Raising my credit score is a constant process and it is always on my mind 24/7. Thinking of ways to increase it and working to pay down the little debt I have. Speaking of....

My Target card has barely over $200 until it's paid off! Yay! That will be done in less than a year and I can't wait.

I finished 1 project that I have pinned on my Pinterest, but I'll post pictures about it later - it's a present for Levi for his upcoming (2nd!) birthday and I'm planning on doing a whole post about just his birthday.

I also completed a Swapbot swap - Comfort Shoebox Swap. Which I will also create a separate post about later... however I'm disappointed. This is the first swap I've done (27 total) that I've ever been flaked on and didn't receive anything. I'll be searching for someone to "angel" it for me soon - When you Angel a swap, it means that you send something that fits the swap description to the person who didn't receive anything, but you're not actually part of the swap yourself. They're simply being angels and trying to improve someone's day. :)

Start Date:August29th, 2011
End Date: May 27th, 2014
(I think. ha.)

In progress!~~Completed!~~
1. Save $1/day for the duration of the project and DO NOT touch it until theend. ($14/$1,001)
2. Be a (mostly) SAHM.
3. Have at least 1 garage sale a year and go all out. (0/3)
4. Raise my credit score (via freecreditscore.com) to at least 700. (572/700)
5. Purchase our first home.
6. Shop at the downtown farmers market 1/month for 4 straight months. (0/4)
7. Finish 100 craft projects off my Pinterest boards. (1/100)
1. Levi’sGrill for his birthday.
8. Keep track of this process regularly on my blog - 1 post for each goal,including pictures. (0/101)
9. Purchase a DSLR and 1 extra lens.
10. Get family portraits taken every year. (0/3)
11. Go through everything we own and toss/donate/sell things we don't need/use.
12. Surprise someone 20 times for no real reason. (0/20)
13. Successfully grow a garden we can eat from.
14. Start up and use an Etsy shop.
15. Take part in 1 craft fair. (0/1)
16. Complete 15 different swaps on Swapbot. (0/15)
1.Comfort Shoe Box Swap – sent 9/2, got flaked on.
17. Host a poker night.
18. Take a photography class.
19. Complete my AAT degree.
20. Work out 15 minutes every day for a month.
21. Have a family (+extended family!) game night 1/month for 5 months straight.(0/5)
22. Attend the ballet.
23. Purchase 5 matching sets of underwear. (0/5)
24. Write old fashioned thinking of you letters to 5 people. (0/5)
25. Write letters to the kids in their books 1/week for 2 months. (0/8)
26. Take flowers to G, GC, UG, and BM. (0/4)
27. Plan and go on 5 special dates for Ryan and me. (0/5)
28. Eat as a vegetarian for 2 weeks.
29. Donate blood.
30. Pay off Target card.
31. Get a tattoo.
32. Go skinny dipping.
33. Take vitamin every day for 3 months. (0/3)
34. Watch all the movies on AFI's 100 greatest movies. (0/100)
35. Pay off Capitol One card.
36. Do a boudoir photo session.
37. Take lunch to work every day for a month.
38. Create a will for myself.
39. Try sushi (the raw kind. =) )
40. Take the kids on at least 15 picnics. (0/15)
41. Go horseback riding at least 5 times. (0/5)
42. Design and create at least 3 pieces of clothing. Sell them! (0/3)
43. Send a care package to a soldier (operationshoebox.com?).
44. Run a 5k.
45. Write a letter to someone who has changed my life. Can be someone Iactually know or have never actually met.
46. Get 150 followers on my blog. (21/150)
47. Create a cleaning schedule and use it for at least a month.
48. Set up (and use!) a recycling system.
49. Finish all current WIPs (and give them to whom they were made for). (
50. Volunteer time with a charity.
51. Buy something from 5 different Etsy stores. (0/5)
52. Sew a quilt from start to finish.
53. Get a new, awesome looking, blog layout.
54. Go fishing 3 times. (0/3)
55. Eat at Skies 1 time. (0/1)
56. Create 72 hour kits.
57. Go rock climbing at Ibex.
58. Make a workout play list on itunes.
59. Make banana pancakes while listening to the song.
60. Cook a new dish once a week for 3 months.
61. Make a time capsule.
62. Spend a day at the Nelson with the boys and have a picnic on the lawn.
63. Private (but I might tell you if you ask :) )
64. Go to at least 3 First Fridays. (0/3)
65. Take a romantic weekend get away. :)
66. Increase credit limit on Target card.
67. Increase credit limit on capitol one card.
68. Complete 1 knitting project.
69. Complete a 365 photo challenge.
70. Print the photos from #69 into a coffee table book.
71. Update the kids baby books. (0/2)

72. Host a ladies night once every 3 months. (
73. Make my own wine.
74. Finally donate the teddy bears to Children's Mercy Hospital. (Ask if we candeliver some of them to patients ourselves.)
75. Take the kids to a U-pick farm at least once. (0/1)
76. Get bikes and go bike riding with Ryan at least once.
77. Complete my custom recipe book/binder.
78. Ride on a motorcycle.
79. Acquire a dress form (preferably adjustable) that is my size.
80. Purchase a pair of Toms for myself, Levi, and Gabe. (0/3)
81. Dental insurance.
82. Medical insurance.
83. Try cloth diapering for at least a month. (0/1)
84. Get a spa pedicure with my mom and little sister.
85. Attend or host a play group once a month for 6 months straight. (0/6)
86. Wash my car at home with the boys.
87. Get a passport.
88. Sing karaoke. Twice. (0/2)
89. Volunteer at soup kitchen/homeless shelter.
90. Leave an inspirational note in a book at a book store.
91. Make Christmas stockings for each member of our family. (0/4)
92. Track all spending for 1 month.
93. Make an emergency kit for both cars. (0/2)
94. Put all my photos on back up cds.
95. Take a photo of the same place every month for a year. Make a calendar.
96. Visit out of town family once per year. (0/3)
97. Go wine tasting with Ryan. Buy a bottle of my absolute favorite.
98. Get the kids a low-maintenance pet.
99. Have all dishes washed and put away before bed every night for 2 weeks.(0/14)
100. Keep the kitchen and coffee tables clutter free for a month. (0/30)
101. Repeat at least one goal on this list that I've accomplished.

Anyway, there's my quick little update. :) I hope everyone is doing well!

101 in 1001!

2011-08-28T10:54:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty stickin' excited about this one. 2.75 years to get things done... big and little things. I've made my list and now I just need to get started. Anybody want to take part in this journey with me? I'd be very glad to have you along for the ride. :)

The Challenge:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities.

Start Date:August 29th, 2011
End Date: May 27th, 2014
(I think. ha.)

1. Save $1/day for the duration of the project and DO NOT touch it until the end. (0/$1,001)
2. Be a (mostly) SAHM.
3. Have at least 1 garage sale a year and go all out. (0/3)
4. Raise my credit score (via freecreditscore.com) to at least 700. (572/700)
5. Purchase our first home.
6. Shop at the downtown farmers market 1/month. (
7. Finish 100 craft projects off my Pinterest boards. (0/100)
8. Keep track of this process regularly on my blog - 1 post for each goal, including pictures. (0/101)
9. Purchase a DSLR and 1 extra lens.
10. Get family portraits taken every year. (0/3)
11. Go through everything we own and toss/donate/sell things we don't need/use.
12. Surprise someone at least 1/month for no real reason. (
13. Successfully grow a garden we can eat from.
14. Start up and use an Etsy shop.
15. Take part in 1 craft fair. (0/1)
16. Complete 15 different swaps on Swapbot. (0/15)
17. Host a poker night.
18. Take a photography class.
19. Complete my AAT degree.
20. Work out 15 minutes every day for a month.
21. Have a family (+extended family!) game night 1/month. (
22. Attend the ballet.
23. Purchase 5 matching sets of underwear. (0/5)
24. Write old fashioned thinking of you letters to 5 people. (0/5)
25. Write letters to the kids in their books 1/week. (
26. Take flowers to G, GC, UG, and BM. (0/4)
27. Plan 5 special dates for Ryan and me. (0/5)
28. Eat as a vegetarian for 2 weeks.
29. Donate blood.
30. Pay off Target card.
31. Get a tattoo.
32. Go skinny dipping.
33. Take vitamin every day for 3 months. (0/3)
34. Watch all the movies on AFI's 100 greatest movies. (0/100)
35. Pay off Capitol One card.
36. Do a boudoir photo session.
37. Take lunch to work every day for a month.
38. Create a will for myself.
39. Try sushi (the raw kind. =) )
40. Take the kids on at least 15 picnics. (0/15)
41. Go horseback riding at least 5 times. (0/5)
42. Design and create at least 3 pieces of clothing. Sell them! (0/3)
43. Send a care package to a soldier (operationshoebox.com?).
44. Run a 5k.
45. Write a letter to someone who has changed my life. Can be someone I actually know or have never actually met.
46. Get 150 followers on my blog. (21/150)
47. Create a cleaning schedule and use it for at least a month.
48. Set up (and use!) a recycling system.
49. Finish all current WIPs (and give them to whom they were made for). (
50. Volunteer time with a charity.
51. Buy something from 5 different Etsy stores. (0/5)
52. Sew a quilt from start to finish.
53. Get a new, awesome looking, blog layout.
54. Go fishing 3 times. (0/3)
55. Eat at Skies 1 time.
56. Create 72 hour kits.
57. Go rock climbing at Ibex.
58. Make a workout play list on itunes.
59. Make banana pancakes while listening to the song.
60. Cook a new dish once a week for 3 months.
61. Make a time capsule.
62. Spend a day at the Nelson with the boys and have a picnic on the lawn.
63. Private (but I might tell you if you ask :) )
64. Go to at least 3 First Fridays. (0/3)
65. Take a romantic weekend get away. :)
66. Increase credit limit on Target card.
67. Increase credit limit on capitol one card.
68. Complete 1 knitting project.
69. Complete a 365 photo challenge.
70. Print the photos from #69 into a coffee table book.
71. Update the kids baby books. Write in them 1/month.
72. Host a ladies night once every 3 months. (
73. Make my own wine.
74. Finally donate the teddy bears to Children's Mercy Hospital. (Ask if we can deliver some of them to patients ourselves.)
75. Take the kids to a U-pick farm at least once. (0/1)
76. Get bikes and go bike riding with Ryan at least once.
77. Complete my custom recipe book/binder.
78. Ride on a motorcycle.
79. Acquire a dress form (preferably adjustable) that is my size.
80. Purchase a pair of Toms for myself, Levi, and Gabe. (0/3)
81. Dental insurance.
82. Medical insurance.
83. Try cloth diapering for at least a month.
84. Get a spa pedicure with my mom and little sister.
85. Attend or host a play group once a month. (
86. Wash my car at home with the boys.
87. Get a passport.
88. Sing karaoke. Twice. (0/2)
89. Volunteer at soup kitchen/homeless shelter.
90. Leave an inspirational note in a book at a book store.
91. Make Christmas stockings for each member of our family. (0/4)
92. Track all spending for 1 month.
93. Make an emergency kit for both cars. (0/2)
94. Put all my photos on back up cds.
95. Take a photo of the same place every month for a year. Make a calendar.
96. Visit out of town family once per year. (0/3)
97. Go wine tasting with Ryan. Buy a bottle of my absolute favorite.
98. Get the kids a low-maintenance pet.
99. Have all dishes washed and put away before bed every night for 2 weeks.
100. Keep the kitchen and coffee tables clutter free for a month.
101. Repeat at least one goal on this list that I've accomplished.

Sewing!

2011-08-13T18:33:00.000-05:00

I've been busy this weekend, sewing away.
Next weekend will be the same, except that I'll have money for supplies for new projects!

I know, you're itching with anticipation.
Ha!
=)

Wednesday.

2011-07-20T18:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm a couple days late.
I'm so very sorry.

Wanna see some pictures?

Here we go...

Meet the newest member of our family.

And...

It's a....

BOY!

Sweet Baby Gabe will make his appearance in December.
He's due December 11, 2011.

I've made him this little outfit:

Although it's big - 6-9 months.
I'll probably make a few more in various sizes because they're so darn cute.

=)

We're all thrilled and couldn't be more excited.

My summer class is going really well and I have 2 tests left in the course.

(One of which I have to take today, so I'm trying to do this post quickly!)
I'm enrolled for two classes for the fall, but considering dropping one or both.
Simply because I'm working full time, have a toddler, and am due in the midst of finals week...
I guess we'll see.

Monday.

2011-07-16T21:19:00.000-05:00

Monday is going to be a very special day.
I'll try to hop on Monday night and key you in.
=)

My online summer class only has a couple more weeks left.
After that I'll be creating more often.
Although, I have sewn a few things recently that I haven't shown you yet.
But I will.
Maybe on Monday night!

Just know I'm here.
I'm well.
Happy.
Working hard.
Exhausted.
But most of all...

Loved.

Anonymous who?

2011-06-15T17:31:00.000-05:00

Okay, here's the deal.
From now on, I will not acknowledge anonymous commenters.
Think what you will.
I love responding to readers comments and speaking with each of you... But I will only be reply to your comments after this via email.

Do what you will.

Thanks.

Oh, btw... I'm off to buy fabric! Projects coming soon!

2011-06-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

Some times plans HAVE to change...
I often have to remind myself that that's okay.
But it's hard for me to deal with.
I try, but often not without tears.

There are lots of changes that have happened recently and will continue happening in the coming weeks.
Some I'd rather not talk about - others you'll know about soon enough.
But I'm dealing.

Next week will be about putting my craft room back together.
It's a huge mess/storage room recently.
And working on my recently started online class.

After that...
SEWING.
I can't wait to get back to it.

Update!

2011-05-28T21:10:00.001-05:00

I'm posting this from my phone, please forgive any errors...

I will be IN Joplin, MO NEXT Saturday assisting United Way in clean up of debris and sorting donations. I am so grateful to be able to provide assistance.

Devastation.

2011-05-28T18:44:00.000-05:00

I know you've heard about Joplin, MO.

It has consumed my thoughts.

My heart aches.

Over 200 people still missing.

I can't even imagine the agony those families are going through.

I live about two and half hours away.
I want to be there.
I want to help them.
I wish I could ease their pain...

Or better yet, take it away all together.

The personal stories I've heard are devastating.
Please be praying for them.
Don't forget.

Busy, busy, busy!

2011-05-10T18:56:00.000-05:00

I know you haven't seen me around much lately.
I'm sorry for that.
BUT there is a reason for that...
Things have been extremely busy around here!
As soon as I start sewing/crafting/cooking again... I'll be back!

(Which will be SOON. I'm stock piling fabric and supplies for very specific projects coming up!)
Right now my craft room is in shambles.
But as soon as it is put back together and my stock piling is somewhat finished...
I'll be spending all my babybear-free time sewing and crafting!
(and blogging!)

Yay.

Please, please, please...

leave me a comment or send me an email and let me know what's going on in your life!
I miss my conversations with you all.
=)

I'll slowly creep back...

2011-03-28T20:32:00.000-05:00

Have I shown you this dress?

St. Patrick's Day.
I whipped this dress up in an evening, because I had nothing to wear out for St. Patrick's Day!
Never in my life have I ever had anywhere to go for this particular holiday.
But the new man in my life (oooh!) wanted to take me out.

I used Jessica's Ruffle Tube Top tutorial at Happy Together, and added length.
I love the way it turned out.
And it's ridiculously comfortable.
Since it's jersey, I didn't even bother to hem anything and it still looks great.

I'm considering making more in other colors.

Seriously, this is the perfect summer dress/top.

Now... back to my chinese and Netflix!

...

2011-03-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

I may have appeared to drop off the face of the earth,
but I promise it's only temporary.

Things have been busy.
I am concentrating on living life to the fullest.
Trying not to stress over things that I cannot change.
Trying to make the most of what I have.
For the most part, I am happy.
Unbelievably happy.

I do wish I had more time for crafting.
Hopefully soon I will and then I can get back to this little blog.
If I still have any readers left.
=)

Would those of you left like some updates?

There are wonderful people in my life.
Our court date is Monday.
(I've mentioned that here before, right?)
I don't think we'll actually be fighting anything.
But I still have to miss work.
That sucks.
Tax refunds rock.
So does Scentsy and kids consignment sales.
I've made a few more dresses that I'll be looking forward to showing you.
The bear is getting big and learning tons of words.
He's also got the best personality.
He's so fun.

I'm still here!

2011-02-18T19:58:00.000-06:00

I know I promised better scheduled blogging for 2011 - I'm still working on it.

Here are some recent developments:

Found out that I'm allergic to cats.
Started some new projects.
Made and sent TONS of Valentines. (I'll post pictures!)
At this very moment having movie night with family and a little baby friend. (How to train your dragon!)

I'll be back soon! Pictures coming.

Ohhh winter - we are not friends.

2011-02-01T08:18:00.000-06:00

Well, ladies.
If you looked out my window right now, you'd probably get the same eery feeling that I do.
On a normal day at 8:15am, it's rush of cars outside... at the very least, a couple cars.
Today it is DEAD.
Like a ghost town.
You see... we're at the onset of a blizzard.
That's rare here.
This is the 3rd blizzard warning in 29 years.
They called in the National Guard.
We've been declared in a state of emergency.
My work CLOSED.
A sargent of the National Guard advised to "batten down the hatches and hold on."
So, that's what we're doing.

I'll update you later!
For everyone else in the midwest...

hopefully we don't lose power!

Working Hard.

2011-01-23T13:24:00.002-06:00

I am not going to pretend to be perfect on this blog.

My photos are mostly cell phone photos.

Completely unedited.

Our house is usually messy.

My hair and make up usually isn't done.

I'm just warning you before you scroll down.

We've had A LOT of snow recently.

I got snowed in one day last week and couldn't get to work.

So Levi and I made snow ice-cream.

Levi wasn't a big fan...

until he noticed me eating it, and then he'd only eat out of my bowl.

Silly kid.

I've done a little bit of sewing.

Dresses.

With fabric I had gotten at Walmart a while back for $5/bolt when they were getting rid of their fabric section.

(Tutorial)

I told you my house is a mess.

But next weekend, when Levi is at his dad's, I'm cleaning the WHOLE house.

And working on some decorating.

It will be wonderful.

(tutorial)

Notice: my hair is not done + clothes on the bathroom floor.

Mhmm... just keeping it real.

I LOVE this dress - no idea where I'll wear it yet.

Levi's new toybox that I'm also IN LOVE with.

I got it at a flea market for $6.

Took it apart. Painted it this beautiful color. Recovered the seat in this Michael Miller fabric.

Love.

It makes me so happy to walk into his room and see this beautiful toy box sitting there.

(Don't you just LOVE our strange purple carpet? : / )

That's what we've been up to.

I need to work on Let's Do 52.

I'll get back to that soon.

What have YOU been up to?

1/52 - New Beginnings.

2011-01-15T12:07:00.000-06:00

This is the newest man in our lives.
His name is Keagan.
He was born about three hours before this picture was taken.
We love him so much already and can't wait to watch him grow.
(My cousin's baby, by the way.)

And since I'm behind two weeks, I need to start photographing like crazy.

Next theme:
Togetherness.

Photographs.

2011-01-12T23:11:00.000-06:00

I don't post a ton of photographs.
I don't edit my photographs.
I don't have a fancy DSLR camera.

But I love photography.
I love taking photographs with my point and shoot.
I love the idea of Let's Do 52 with Paint The Moon.
I'm about to be two weeks behind, but I think I'm going to join.
My camera battery is charging at this very moment.
I'll start shooting tomorrow.

The first theme:
New Beginnings.

My photos won't be as beautiful as those in the flickr group.
But let's see what I come up with.

Home improvements, anyone?

2011-01-11T12:15:00.001-06:00

On Friday I'll be putting in an order for a yard or so of fabric so that I can finally finish Levi's toy box.
I forgot to take a before picture, so you guys will sadly only get the after.
I purchased an old wooden toy box for Levi in November at a flea market and painted it.
All that's left to do is recover it and put it to good use.

Unfortunately I can't find the sail boat fabric that I had originally planned to use.
The design plan for Levi's room is now "Things that go!"
Here are the fabric options I've come up with:
A little too girly?
Houses.
(I love the smoke from the chimneys and the little trees! But I'm not sure this is available in yardage.)
Leaves.
Scooters.
(I think the colors might be a little too green on this one. But I think it's too cute not to consider!)

Other plans for the little bear's room include:

A car pillow.

A fabric tree on the wall.
(starched on, totally removable - since we can't paint.)

Some new fitted sheets - Things That Go! inspired.
A book sling.

Maybe some of these toys:

Car caddy.
Truck stuffie.

Car play mat.

I'm knitting!

2011-01-05T01:23:00.000-06:00

...or at least trying to.

I'm currently attempting to teach myself how to knit.
It confuses the heck out of me, but I think I've just about got the basic knit stitch down.
I can't wait until I can make socks and sweaters!
:)

Resolutions for the new year.

2011-01-01T12:01:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here on New Year's Eve... my toddler is asleep in bed and I'm laying down resting my achy body trying to kick whatever illness I've seemed to come down with. And I've been thinking about resolutions. I never really make resolutions for the new year, but this year I feel as if I need a BIG change. Resolutions may be part of that change. So here goes:

Send more letters, cards, and packages to people I care about.
Craft more.
Create a budget and USE it.
Concentrate on the positive, not the negative.

Happy Thanksgiving - and Black Friday, of course!

2010-11-26T17:15:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
I thought I'd stop in real quick while I have a moment - let you all know what I'm thankful for.
=)
Also, I went Black Friday shopping for my first time ever...
Not as terrible as I expected.
I went to Walmart at midnight and got to Target at 2:30am.
(They opened at 4:00)

I got myself a vacuum.
And everyone else's Christmas presents, of course.
But I'm mostly excited about the vacuum.

First, of course, I am thankful for my little boy who is growing up far too quickly.
I'm thankful for my job, for my family, and for my friends.
I am thankful for my readers, of course.
=)
I'm thankful that I have a home, heat, a coat, and a car... all of which are coming in very handy in this sudden freezing weather.
I'm thankful for my creativity and imagination.
I often think I have so little - but in reality I have more than enough.
I have so much more than so many people.
I take what I have for granted.
But I am so thankful to have all that I have.

And I'm thankful that I'll be spending the evening (and weekend) with my bear once I pick him up at 7:00pm.

I hope everyone is staying warm!

Twitterverse?

2010-11-18T21:57:00.000-06:00

Feel free to follow me on Twitter if you like.
=)
That way you'll know I'm still a live and kicking.
I may even follow you back.

BethAnne00

How are you?

2010-11-16T15:20:00.000-06:00

(I've been home sick from work the past two days... it sucks, a lot. I can't stop coughing and am permanently exhausted. But I still wanted to come update my readers.)

December 18th is the end of the semester.

In January I plan to be back with you all, posting regularly.

=)
And doing a much better job of it than in the past.

I have a whole list of projects to share with you and pictures from everything we've been doing.
Right now things are just so busy, mainly with school.

Here's my plan for those of you who'd like the update:

I've been working and doing school work - a lot. But I've decided to take a small open-ended break from school. I want to spend more time with my baby... while he's still a baby.

I also want more time for crafting - for you guys and for myself.

I may continue class in the fall, but I may wait until Levi is a little big older and more independent.

I have also been doing a little bit of sewing for my adorable niece - you'll see more on that later.
=)

You'll also be seeing all of my up-coming decorating efforts for the new house.
Which is a lot.

This place needs quite a bit of work to be pleasing to the eye - especially my living room which is painted two different colors currently (and I'm not allowed to paint).

I'll see you all in January.
Maybe sooner, if I happen to drop back by.

Hope you're doing well!

It's my party...

2010-11-08T23:36:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to me.

=)

Still working...
Keep watching out for me.
I'll be back.
Don't worry.

BUT, I'm 21 today.
Celebrations are waiting until the weekend.
School is over in December.
I'm taking a semester off...
I'm looking forward to plenty of blogging in all that free time.
So don't give up on me!

Thought I'd check in.

2010-10-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Just dropping in to tell you that little bear's party was GREAT. Our trip out of town was GREAT. And things are still pretty chaotic until after this coming weekend when we make the big move! I will be sharing party pictures with you, but I have to receive them from the person who took them first.

I hope all is well in your lives. We're still around, just staying quite busy... but I'll be back soon!

One year.

2010-10-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

Do you remember these pants? I showed them off a while back, but with a crappy, no good cell phone picture.

These pictures are courtesy of Ashley at Shlay Photography.

You might remember her from just under a year ago... she took Levi's one month photographs and I just love her. If you're in the Kansas City area, I highly suggest her... you won't be disappointed, I promise. Just check out her galleries.

You all should feel pretty lucky... these photos are from Levi's 1 year photo shoot. The only people who have seen them so far are me and my mother (and obviously the photographer).

I'm still pretty proud of these little pants... they're the first thing I ever made without a pattern and I just love the fabrics and the BIG blue button. :) Hopefully I'll make a tutorial for them fairly soon - they're REALLY easy. I'll probably be making Levi another pair in a knit.

I haven't posted any pictures in a while, so that's really all this post is for. ENJOY!

(Can you believe he's one?!)

Oh, and one more thing...

2010-09-29T23:01:00.002-05:00

I wanted to share something with you that I've been thinking about a lot today....

Something I heard today shocked me – and the more I run it through my head, the more it hurts me. A co-worker of mine mentioned that someone in the last couple of days had said to her that she does not have a real job, that she's too comfortable… She and I do the same job within the same agency, so her job is also my job. Let me tell you a little about my job…

I work with developmentally disabled adults. Every day I go to work and I work to help my clients better their lives… I help them go into the community every day. I help them to develop their ability to effectively communicate. I help them develop their sense of self and the processes of life. I help them to continue to be a part of their families. I help them stay physically fit. I help them use their creative processes and just have fun. They test my patience, my physical and emotional strength, and just about everything else… but at the end of the day, I enjoy my job. I love what I do and the people that surround me every day. I assure you I learn more from them than they’ll ever learn from me, and while I can’t speak for my co-workers, I’m fairly certain that they feel the same way. Most of them have been at this for much longer than myself.

Now… what about that isn’t a real job? Who says that we have to be miserable or even just slightly unhappy at our jobs? We are so lucky to be working in a field that is fulfilling. I enjoy my days and I happen to get paid at the same time. But, in the past, I have volunteered working with developmentally disabled children… I do it whether there is money involved or not, simply because it's what I want to do. I want to be involved with people. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I want to be encouraging. I want to feel fulfilled throughout my life. I want to be able to form meaningful relationships at work.

I feel so sorry for someone who is obviously so unhappy that they are angry at the fact that there are those of us who love what we do… so much so that they have to act upon it, even if it’s just with their words. I think that far too many people settle for jobs and careers that are just going to pay the bills – instead of waiting for what they love and what they’ll look forward to doing every day. (Every single day I definitely don’t look forward to going to work, but once I get there… I’m glad I went.)

Living Life.

2010-09-29T22:54:00.000-05:00

I'm falling behind on so much lately. I have so much to do in such a short amount of time... and I still haven't put anything into the mail that I need to and I can't stand that I'm so late with all of that. I'm not at all okay with being late with or for anything.

I've been packing tonight. I haven't gotten far, but it's something. There are two boxes sitting downstairs labeled "Levi's Room!" filled with my babybear's belongings. I have two weeks to put all of the rest of our things into similar boxes, also labeled by room. Luckily, we don't have a whole lot to begin with... but as I pack I'm tossing stuff that we don't need for one reason or another.

Tomorrow, I'll be sewing and baking all evening. Levi's birthday party is coming up on Sunday and decorations haven't even been started yet! I'm sewing a birthday bunting, creating hanging wreaths, and filling my 'fill-a-bowl' - I love that thing. I will also be baking a practice cake of Levi's smash cake... I hope it works, because if it does it's going to be the cutest little cake! I recently found my camera (yay!) so I'll definitely be taking pictures of everything to show you all! I'm going to try to locate my board to take all my pictures on so that what you see is nice and pretty and not my messy house.

I still need to call the power & gas company to assure that all my utilities will be turned on by the time we move in to our new home... Nothing about moving is stressing me out, surprisingly. I'm very, very excited about the whole process. I'll be doing lots of decorating the my little bit of baby-free and homework free times and so hopefully I'll be blogging more regularly because I'll have things to show you!

I just thought I'd stop in quickly to give you an update... I hope you're all having wonderful days and enjoying life.

Thriftin'

2010-09-15T21:31:00.000-05:00

I want to show you what I got today.

We're having a yard sale at work and I was scooping up some majorly cute items as soon as I could.
I got four tops for the baby bear for this winter - $2. He has pretty much nothing for this winter that is the right size. The kid is huge!

I also got this::

Ugh, sorry about the mess - I can't find the board I JUST bought to take pictures on.
Soon things will change, my friends.
October 15th.

So cute. Also, $2. I'll probably put it in Levi's room when we move, but maybe it'll go in my craft room as a cute little decoration/inspiration.

Who knows. But I love it.

Ups and Downs.

2010-09-10T17:44:00.000-05:00

Today has had some pretty rough points - it was a long, long day.
But the good definitely out weighs the bad!

Well, it's official.
We are moving!

I put a deposit down today (like 30 minutes ago, actually) for our new place.
We move in October 15th.
And it's super, super, super cute. We even have an extra bedroom!
Can you say craft room? I think so!

It's technically an apartment, but definitely feels like a house. And I LOVE that.
It's the entire first floor of an old house that was renovated into three apartments by level.
I have a front porch and a back porch that are only for our use, because we have the ground level.
And the landlord said that if I wanted to put in a swing, they could probably do that for me. Super cute, right?

No roommate, just Levi and I.
Things are going good. I hope to keep them that way.

I'm pretty excited about decorating, to tell the truth.
I get to be all crafty and nothing excites me more than that.

But I REALLY need to get to work.
I STILL need to put a ton of stuff in the mail (tomorrow!), including Levi's birthday invites.
And I have a couple homework assignments to do.

I hope you're all having a good day. :)

Stressed out.

2010-09-05T18:50:00.000-05:00

I don't have a roommate any more, and so...
For a while now I've been looking for a home that I can afford by myself.
But two bedroom places seem to run much higher than I can afford alone.
(I HAVE to have a two bedroom - it is very important that Levi have his own room. And not just because I want it that way, because of the whole court thing.)

I'm getting so discouraged.
Multiple times now I've scheduled appointments to look at places that I could possibly afford, only for them to be ripped out from under me before my scheduled viewing.
I'm so stressed out because of it.

I make too much to get assistance, but at the same time I can't afford anything either.
I don't know how I'm supposed to change that.

How am I supposed to support my family when I don't qualify for the programs but I don't make enough to afford everything we need either?
I am so grateful for my job - what I'm not grateful for is living in a city where the cost of living is so high.
Because I know there are other cities that living on the same income is much easier - simply because their cost of living is lower for one reason or another. But right now I can't move to any of those places...

The whole process is beating me down.
All I want right now is for my son and I to be a family. Not relying on everyone else and not constantly surrounded by other people 24/7.

Here's a change.

2010-09-02T17:26:00.000-05:00

I deleted my last post. Let me tell you why.

I have never had any problem showing you all the good, the bad, and the ugly of my thoughts and emotions - because such is life and I'm not someone to sugar coat.
No one is 100% happy every single day of their life.
If you're going to come tell me that you are... then great for you!
But the majority of the world cannot say that.
Just being realistic.

If I do have a not so happy post, I'm not putting it up for any sort of sympathy or support.
And I am surely not doing it to be torn down or told to just get over my feelings.
Why else would I purposely be vague?
The only reason I do it is because writing out my feelings helps me. It's comforting to me to not have things just building up inside of me. Getting my emotions down, the action of writing or typing them out - it's therapeutic.

I'm vague because of the fact that I don't want input. Because people who aren't directly involved don't know what's going on and in turn cannot effectively give input. I know, I know - I'm putting it out there for the world to see so I should expect feedback whether it be positive or negative.

I guess that's why you probably won't be seeing my emotions here any longer.
I'll be sunshine and rainbows to my readers.
A sugar coater.
My blog is about life - but now it'll probably be like every other blog. Life, but only the laughs and smiles of life, not every aspect of life.

Two months left.

2010-08-22T17:40:00.000-05:00

Since I have never lived in a home other than my parent's home, I'm a bit uneasy about choosing the place that Levi and I will have to live for at least a year.

I'm worried I'll make the wrong choice. What if the rent ends up being too high, despite my multiple calculations and budgeting? What if I fail to see potential problems in the house before I sign the contract? What if it doesn't work out with my roommate?

I admit, I am not confident in my budgeting skills. I've never had to budget for myself, let alone me and a whole other person - I'm not sure what things cost for an entire month!

I'm also relying on pure faith that our custody case settles before going to court - because if we go to court, I'll have to pay way more to my attorney than I am now... and I have no clue where that money would come from, because by that point we'll already be moved out with a signed lease.

I guess I'm really relying on faith a lot with all of this. It's scary, but so exciting at the same time.

Any words of wisdom would be gladly accepted. =)

It's about time.

2010-08-15T23:45:00.000-05:00

School starts soon.
Like a week and a half, actually.
To be honest with you, I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to go back - or if I really want to. I've been excited to go pick up the books I ordered two weeks ago, because it means I'm moving forward. I've felt like I've been stuck in this one place for so long and all the working and trying hasn't gotten me anywhere no matter what I did - but this, this is getting me somewhere. A degree will get me somewhere.

But I'm not ready to spend even less time with Levi.
I already feel like I'm missing out on his whole life. He changes so much every day and I only get a few hours with him at night before we go to bed, and then one night a week and every other weekend he gets ripped away from me against my will. Then with school I'll have even less time for him. That much, I hate.

But school also means another thing.
It means we're that much closer to independence.
Total and complete independence.
After I get my legal fees paid off, then I'll save as much of my wages as I possibly can for a month or two and then we're moving out on our own. Into the big scary world. Except, I'm not at all scared. I can't wait.
I have a roommate already, and we're looking at houses. HOUSES. I'd love nothing more than to have our own yard for Levi to run around in in the summer time with the sprinkler and have picnics on a big colorful quilt (that I'm somehow going to find the time to make, I swear. :) ).... heaven.

I'm sorry, I know these are things I talk about all the time, but right now my life is consumed by them. I think about them every single day. When I'm working I'm focused on getting back home to my baby boy and hearing his wonderful laugh, and then when he's asleep I spend far too much time calculating a time line, budget, and planning over and over and over again. Just to make sure everything will be perfect.

Things are looking up. Finally.

What's a ruffling foot?

2010-08-10T19:14:00.001-05:00

Not only have I been LOVING all the sewing and crafty things I'm working on for the bear's first birthday party, but I've also been working on lots of stuff for a baby shower coming up this month.
Yep, I'm talking about you, Jenny!

I keep thinking I'm done with the girly sewing (such a sad thought!) and then I come across another project I had started and set aside! Haha. What I'm loving even more than the bear's sewing... girly sewing for sweet baby B.
=)
The thing is... with ALL those ruffles - I'm beginning to think a ruffling foot would be more than a life saver. Not that I don't absolutely love gathering and all.
(In case you're not a sewer... and can't tell just by it's name... a ruffling foot makes all those cute little gathers for you while you feed the fabric through your sewing machine. I'm sure it's pure bliss!)

My camera is still hiding out somewhere evading me, otherwise this is where the sneak peaks would be!
I'm going to go track down my sister's camera though and use it, I think.

But case and point:
Ruffling foot = possible heaven. Someone get me one, stat.
Baby B = going to be covered in ruffles.
(I hope she's not a tom boy!)

New project.

2010-08-07T18:42:00.003-05:00

I made these pants today for Levi's birthday outfit.
No pattern, no tutorial.
First time ever.
I'm pretty excited.

There are some kinks to work out if I decide to make more, but not too many!
If I ever open that Etsy shop I keep planning, these will probably be there.
I love the wide legs.
<3

(btw, I can't find my camera so this picture was taken on my phone. it sucks.)

This project is linked up at:
Craftastical!
Under the table and dreaming
Fingerprints on the fridge

pictahs!

2010-08-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

Blackberries at the River Market.

Boys will be boys. :)

Just playin' a little basketball. Getting an early start!

The bear's face is cracking me up!

Cutie patooties.

Pushin' some cars, you know.

Um.. yeah - he can definitely open the bag of wipes now.
Now I have an entire package of wipes that have been turned in to wipe shreds.

Rest safely with your Father.

2010-07-21T21:37:00.001-05:00

The second after I posted my last post, I switched over to Facebook and got terrible news.

A classmate of mine died in a car accident.

I ache.
No, I wasn't close to him - but I remember him vividly. I remember every class I had with him and numerous conversations.... he was very opinionated and great at expressing himself. You could tell how intelligent he was just listening to him speak, but not in a way that makes you shy away from him. And he was full of energy.
The loss is a great one and his family and friends are in my prayers.

During all of this I can't help thinking: why?
Since I started my Freshman year of high school, I can't even tell you how many of my classmates have passed on. There have been so many I can't count them all, because I assure you I'd forget some - the ones I didn't have so much interaction with. I may be wrong, but I feel like we have so many more of them that have passed on than other places...

Whether or not that is wrong or right... the numbers are just wrong. It's wrong that these lives are being lost at such young ages. So many of them. I feel like every few months I can expect another empty seat at my high school reunion - not because of a busy life... but because of the lack of one. How many class mates will we be remembering honorably at our first reunion (Although they weren't all in the same grade)? Too many. Even one should be too many - but the numbers are growing too quickly to get a handle on.

I want to escape it all. I want them all back with their laughter and smiles and kindness... and I want to take advantage of my time with them, not brush it aside to do later. Thinking about my life lately - I do this now to the people I care about most... brushing them off to see later because I don't feel like it. But not anymore. Take advantage of your time, now... not later.

Lots of bears and a big move.

2010-07-21T21:07:00.000-05:00

I want to fast forward time.

Everything seems to be coming together.
I have a good job and as soon as I pay off my legal fees, I'll be putting the majority of my paychecks to savings. For emergencies.
My potential roommate seems great - I have such a great feeling about rooming with her and I'm confident that we'll become good friends.
There seem to be a lot of great places available to rent within our price point, and not just places that will do - places that we like! Although, those opinions are solely based off of photographs for the time being.
I'm going start simplifying in the next week or so, so that we can move with less clutter.

Everything seems to be on the right track and I'm loving it - now can I just fast forward time a few months or so? I don't want to miss the things that will take place between now and then - I just want the move to be taking place NOW. I'm so impatient and so excited that I don't want to wait... I just want to GO.

I guess I should really be concentrating on Levi's birthday party, though. I have a lot of ideas for it already, but should I be gathering supplies already? It's not until the first week of October, but I want it to be a great party. I know he won't remember it - but it's more for me than for him.

The theme will be Bears.
The picture of the scene in my head is so cute.
Although I have no clue where it's going to be held. Halls cost hundreds to rent. Our house is not a party-friendly set up, there's no room what so ever. Should I risk an outside party? Early October could be warm or freezing, it's hard to say...

Teddy bears as table decorations, one specifically holding a wicker basket to put birthday cards in. Donating all of these bears to Children's Mercy Hospital afterward. A birthday banner I'm going to make out of fabric. One of these signs to help guests know they're in the right spot. Party favor bags for the older kids filled with bear-fun. The perfect outfit for the birthday boy. The perfect cake. And bear-oriented food to snack on. And of course, lots and lots of fun with family and friends.

I can't wait.

I'm not sure if this post had a point or not. =)

Let the creative juices flow!

2010-07-18T22:16:00.001-05:00

How many of my readers are artsy?

Because I've just joined something pretty cool that I think you should take part in too! It's call the "Art Exchange" Project, it's an art swap. You send out 1 piece of artwork and receive back 36 pieces! (This doesn't have to be art as in drawings or paintings - if you sew or make jewelry or photography... anything creative really, you can send that!)

I need 6 people.

If you're interested - comment with your email or just shoot me an email and I'll give you the details and then you can let me know if you'll participate or not.

Although I think you all should.
=)

Seriously, love.

2010-07-17T13:31:00.000-05:00

wow.

This is one of the best giveaways I've seen.
21 gorgeous fat quarters from marie-madeline studio.

Okay... so all of you may not think it's the best,

but I sure do!
Beautiful, bright, floral fabrics.
yum.

Check out the Beautiful Baby finalists!

2010-07-17T12:53:00.000-05:00

Beautiful Babies!

Even though the bear isn't one of them - that's okay!
He's so handsome, I already know that.
=)

Congrats beautiful babies!

Did you want to know who won?

2010-07-15T17:58:00.000-05:00

Oh, you did?

"Girl, you know I am a follower =)"

Kacie!

Thanks for all the lovin'!
Levi didn't win... but that's okay.

I can't wait to send out your prize(s), Kacie.
Shoot me an email and we'll get it all sorted out.

Slow start today.

2010-07-15T08:16:00.000-05:00

For the first time this week we slept past 6 am!
SCORE.

However, if you thought that I'd be announcing the winner of the giveaway at this very moment...
you'd be wrong.
I gotta get to work!
But later this afternoon - after work, after my very important meeting, AFTER my date (Levi goes to his dads today)... THEN I'll announce the winner.

I know, you're trembling with anticipation.

Today is the last day!

2010-07-14T16:22:00.000-05:00

(I stole this picture from my sister... Love you!)

The giveaway ends tonight at midnight!

Make sure to go by and get in some more entries.

I'm still working on the things that are being given away.
I'll be working up until the second I pack it all up and ship it away.
Pink, frilly girly-ness.

Spread the word please.

=)

Levi needs votes, votes, votes.

Love.

2010-07-13T19:19:00.000-05:00

(I am REALLY sorry for the garish yellow background that is probably KILLING your eyes... one day I will take wonderful, super impressive photos. That day is not today.)

Although this little stuffie is no where near perfect, I really love it.
I got the idea from Make It and Love It where there is a tutorial for this little giraffe and an elephant too!

My pink paisley giraffe is going to one of you in my giveaway!

I really wanted this picture to be of a cute little baby playing with Ms. Giraffe, but I think my little mister wouldn't look too manly playing with a pink giraffe.
And I don't have any baby girls close that I can steal away at any given moment.

=(

But come September, maybe I can beg and plead with Jenny to borrow her princess!

Also, could you give me some advice?
(I know, you have a lot of extra stuff to look at!)

What do you do?

2010-07-13T18:54:00.000-05:00

When baby falls asleep an two or three hours before bedtime?

Do you wake them up and deal with a fussy, crabby baby for three hours?
Or do you let baby sleep, even though it means they'll be up way late albeit happy?

I promised you some pictures.

2010-07-11T15:37:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately,
It POURED down rain most of today.
That meant that getting photos with my little model was a no-go.
But hopefully we'll get some later in the week.

I DO still have photos for you, they're just...
no so great.

MAM pacifiers are the only pacifiers we use around our house.

They're just so great.
The shape of the nipple makes it easier to keep in the baby's mouth.
They have the cutest designs.

There are so many more reasons I love them, I could go on forever.

And second, this little skirt.
I love it.
Love, love, love, LOVE.
I am so wishing for a little girl.
Too bad I'm no where close to having another baby.
HA.

Good thing one of you will get it to love on your little princess.
=)

I'm spending the rest of the afternoon working on more little prizes for the giveaway.
So don't forget to enter and spread the word!
(pssst... my baby needs votes!)

I'm Still Here... Don't Worry. =)

2010-07-07T16:58:00.000-05:00

Although I haven't been blogging how I had planned my posts a couple of weeks ago, but I'm here.

Today has been an interesting day...

I accidentally arrived at work an hour early and no one was there to let me in... long story. I was kicked in the shin incredibly hard, twice. I was peed on. I saw a white man who dressed like he is a thug being arrested. I saw another man being pulled from his car onto a stretcher in the middle of a highway intersection. And I got caught in the rain on the middle of a nature trail.

But I'm feeling good. I'm home now, I have had a shower, and I'm thinking about taking Levi to the park while this brief bit of sunlight is still present (it's been nothing but rainy lately).

I've gotten more items for the giveaway (make sure to enter!) but I haven't had much opportunity to take pictures to give you a peek. I'll do that tonight if I don't crash as soon as Levi goes to bed - which is exactly what I did last night. I didn't even see any of Medium which is currently my favorite show... Until White Collar starts back up, that is.

I know, I'm still lacking on the pictures. I have some from the fourth that I've been meaning to get up, but I have to sort through them first. Next time, friends.

I hope you're having a wonderful day (and that your weather is better than ours)!

Currently

2010-07-05T16:26:00.000-05:00

I'm incredibly jealous of everyone who has the day off. In my job, I don't get holidays off... none of them. Not 4th of July, not Thanksgiving, not Christmas... nothing. I'm exhausted from a long, long day at work (I hardly get to sit down for two minutes to eat lunch!) and barely any sleep last night. Unfortunately, it's only Monday. Awesome.

Happy Fourth! I got a ton of great pictures yesterday, I'll be posting them later.

Don't forget to vote and enter the giveaway please!

I love summer.

2010-07-03T22:15:00.000-05:00

I wish I had pictures from last night for you... It was the perfect summer night. We went to see a fireworks show with a bunch of friends... joining Levi and I were four other adults and three babes. We picnic-ed on a blanket in the grass while we watched a mediocre fireworks display. Jacob, the second youngest baby at almost 2, was a ball of energy the entire evening and never stopped running around. His daddy was constantly on the move trying to corral him... but it couldn't have been cuter.

When the fireworks ended we decided to hang out until the traffic cleared. For a while we ran around giving rides in Levi's radio flyer wagon, but then the two older boys (both around two) found two other boys of roughly the same age who were kicking around a ball with their dad and they fit right in. They had a blast kicking this ball, playing "soccer." I exchanged numbers with these boys parents so that they can join us at play group - all the kids yesterday became immediate friends - giving high fives after kicks and cheering each other on.

We ended up being the very last cars in the parking lot and there was definitely no traffic on our way out. We actually were slightly in the way of the clean up crew. Oops! But it was so much fun. I want more summer nights like these.

As of right now, I don't take advantage of my time... I sit around. I procrastinate. I play with Levi. I know... that last one is good - but I want to make it... MORE. I know he's still little - but I want him to have memories of nights like these for as long as he can remember. I will work to have more nights like these. I'm already thinking about when I'm going to invite people over to cookout and let the kiddos run wild in the back yard with a sprinkler running or catching fireflies. Picturesque.

Did I mention there was a cute boy there as well? Okay... so there were multiple cute, adorable boys. But an attractive man is what I'm getting on to. I'm looking forward to spending more time with him and his beautiful children in the coming weeks. That's all I'm saying on that matter.

Remind me to take my camera on outings with me from now on. You want pictures don't you? I'm sure my walls of text aren't that interesting... I'm not that good of a writer. I'll provide you with plenty of pictures next time. Promise. =)

TONIGHT.

2010-07-01T20:30:00.002-05:00

One of my pretty, new fat quarters will become a pretty, ruffly dress/skirt for the giveaway!

(Oh, and there are more fabrics than just these - I don't know how I'm going to choose!)

Go enter.

Really.

You could win.

Pictures of the dress as soon as I finish it tonight.

Which may actually be tomorrow because...

Levi decided to stay up until 2 am last night,

Today was my first day at work,

That's less than 5 hours of sleep.

My body doesn't like that.

If Levi goes to sleep early enough tonight,

I may get it done before bed.

Peek-A-Boo!

2010-06-29T15:25:00.000-05:00

This will be found inside the diaper bag I'm giving away, here.

Pink. Sparkles. Tulle.
What's not to love?
I think you want it.

And, please, don't forget to vote.
It's gets you an entry to the giveaway each day!

It's time for a giveaway =)

2010-06-28T12:17:00.000-05:00

I spent the weekend away.
I thought we were going to have internet in our hotel room so that I could do some blogging, but apparently I was wrong.
But I'll admit...

The break was kind of nice.

(Not that I'm too good about blogging regularly anyway, or anything.)

I also expected to get some stuff done for today, but I never made it by a hobby lobby.
So, I apologize for not having any new pictures to show you today.

BUT...

I'M HAVING A GIVEAWAY!

Yep, that's right.
My very first giveaway.
=)

And yes, I'm shamelessly using it to get votes for my baby.
But I also want one of my readers to enjoy a nice prize.
I'm giving away this:

It's a diaper bag filled with goodies!
The goodies are super girly.
Super. Girly.
(Because I need to do some girly sewing – boy stuff is killing me!)

And as the week goes on, it will get more and more full!
(And you'll get to see more and more pictures, I promise!)

I can't give you final list, but trust me...
It's good.
Clothes, toys, necessities, things that are just plain cute!
(You'll get little sneak peaks of the stuff inside as the week goes on!)

Pregnant?
Know someone who's pregnant?
Want a go to gift in case someone you know gets pregnant?

Then this is perfect for you!

So, here's the deal...
Leave a comment for each entry.
Please include your email address in your comment, if it is not easily accessed on your blog.

Become a follower. - 1 entry.

Blog about the giveaway – 1 entry

VOTE for Levibear here.
(you can vote once a day during the length of the contest, come back here and leave one comment EVERY time you vote!)

Leave a separate comment for each entry.
The last day to enter will be July 14th.
I'll announce the winner the next day!

Oh and if you need a reminder of how beautiful my baby is before you go vote, here you go....

I might be planning something...

2010-06-24T00:36:00.001-05:00

Want a new diaper bag?

Plus lots of other fun baby stuff?

Find out how on Monday!

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be making many, many more of these bags.
So cute.

Help!

2010-06-22T14:19:00.000-05:00

I need your help.
I once read an article, I think it was a blog post but I'm not sure, about breastfeeding in public.
Y'all are mama's...
do you know where that article is?

It was real.
And all about how it's ridiculous for women to be pushed into breastfeeding their children in the bathroom when in a public place.
I'd like to show it to a friend, but don't know where to find it.

Do you?

In the bad, there's always good.

2010-06-20T18:25:00.000-05:00

I won my very first giveaway ever.
I'm so beyond excited!

Five packs of Huggies diapers (our favorite!).
Remember when I blogged about that diaper giveaway over at Natalie's Sentiments?

I found out this morning that I won!
So amidst all the terrible emotions and words of the day...
there has been good.
=)

I hope everyone is enjoying their day with the Daddy's in their lives!

Father's Day?

2010-06-20T11:45:00.001-05:00

"Family" days have been tough.
Days like today.
I have my amazing child,

and the day should be spent celebrating with him and his father and just enjoying the day.
But instead I get to send him off,
and I get to spend the day alone.
Awesome...
(Can you read the sarcasm?)

Things have been tough between us all most of the time lately,
and I think it's a big problem.
My babybear's life should not have this much hatred and argument in it at 8 months old.
It should have this much hatred and argument in it ever.
And so with today I'm making a serious effort to change that.
I've tried in the past, but I'm determined to make this time different.

Right now Levibear is eating a snack,

I'm taking the opportunity to try to get this written before all the commotion starts.

I had bought a simple gift for his daddy,

but that's all I was going to do.
I thought, "Why should I bother?"
"He doesn't deserve my kindness."
"Neither of them even deserve to spend time with MY child."
"Why should I spend my precious time and money when I'm going to get treated terribly right back?"
And then I realized what all the adults in my sons life are doing to his life.
Including me.
I'm not innocent.

When I went to the store to grab a father's day card that I realized last minute I'd forgotten,
I couldn't even get IN TO the card aisle.

I guess other people are forgetful also, or maybe just lazy.

I picked out my craft supplies and headed home.

I spent the next, I don't know how long, trying to get Levi to cooperate with me and thinking about the perfect words to say.

Here is the gift Levi's daddy will be opening in less than an hour:

(

(I saw this poem online somewhere.)

(This is the note I wrote on the back, I also wrote a big, long letter - more on that later.)

(This is Levi (right) and his little brother Henry (left). The frame is the gift.)

I also included a long heartfelt and completely honest letter to Chris and his girlfriend.
I'm terrified about what the response will be.
It was all about the life we've forced upon Levi, about communication and respect for each other.
None of which any of us has currently.
I want to turn the situation around completely.

I want Levi to have a wonderful life, despite the situation we're in.
I want his two families to be able to get along,
so that he can have all his family in the same place if he wants to.

Here's to hoping for the best.
I don't know that there's really anything else I can do after this.

Happy Father's Day to the daddy's, but also to the Mommy's who do it all!

ETA:

I'm sitting here in tears, so thick that I really can't even read the words I'm typing.
And this is what I've been doing for the last twenty minutes at least,
and I have no idea how long it will last.

The last thing my child's father said to me at my front door was,
"You know what, I don't care about your feelings because you obviously don't care about mine."
And then he turned and walked away without letting me say a word,
with my child in his arms.

It's one of those days.

2010-06-17T16:29:00.000-05:00

Where I don't know what to do and I feel like I have no control.
I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm upset...
I don't have my child.
Just that makes me feel all alone.

I don't want to say exactly how I feel,
because I know it's pathetic.

I just want so much to change.
I have no control, though.
I'm just waiting...

A few things to cover today...

2010-06-08T14:53:00.000-05:00

First:

(this photo is from Natalie's Sentiments)

Natalie is hosting a Huggies giveaway for FIVE packs of little movers diapers!
You'd be crazy not to enter.
Seriously.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about those jean diapers,

but we mostly use Huggies Pure and Natural and they're just wonderful!

Second:

I've received a blog award!
No. Way.
Seriously, I'm shocked.

Thanks so much, Kacie!
She's a great blogger - check her out!

So here we go...
The rules are: post 10 things you don't know about me and then pass on the award to 10 bloggers.

Ten Things You Don't Know About Me:

2. I'm a SUPER picky eater (but I'm actually getting better about that.)
3. I want a really large family.
4. I'm barefoot as much as I possibly can be.

5. I have always been very much NOT a morning person.

6. I have decided on a major/career. (I don't know if I've told you all that yet!)

7. I LOVE the princess bride and the goonies.

8. I want my next child (AFTER I'm married!) to be a boy, then a girl, after that I don't care. =)

9. Despite all the pain and crap from it, I'm glad my situation happened the way it did.

10. Autism runs in my family - I'm terrified Levi will have it... and I'm ashamed that I'm terrified of that.

I nominate:

Lisa

Mama to 3 bears

Moments Worth Remembering

Chelle

Okay, so I don't really talk to that many bloggers at the moment.
I'm sorry.
Plus, two of the ones I do have already gotten this award and one nominated me!
Each of the bloggers I nominated is a wonderful follower of mine and I of them.
Their blogs are GREAT.
And they're each wonderful women.

Third:

Day Twenty-Eight:

What has been my most luxurious purchase?

I think my most luxurious purchase has probably been my digital camera.
At the time that I bought it... it cost a FORTUNE.
(Or, a fortune to my sixteen year old self.)
I could have bought a cheaper one, but I wanted to spend the first money I made at my first job on the EXACT thing I wanted.
And I did.

Other than that,
I don't make luxurious purchases often.
I like to shop with sales and not spend money I don't have.

Phew, that was a lot!

2010-06-07T17:52:00.000-05:00

Day Fourteen.

Where do I blog?

um... well, I'll get a bunch of pictures for this - hopefully - because I blog ALL OVER.

Day Fifteen.

What is your bucket list top 5?

- Bungee jump with my love

- Serve in an overseas mission/peace corps

- Design and create someone's wedding dress

- Have a completely natural childbirth

- Swim in the ocean

Day Sixteen.

What is my worst habit?

My worst habit...
would probably be between procrastinating
or

nope, procrastinating.
That's my worst habit.
=/

Day Seventeen.

What are my pet peeves?

Oh gosh.
haha. I could go on for a long time.
I can't stand people chewing with their mouths open.
People with NO consideration or manners.
Parents telling other parents what they're doing wrong with their children.

I'll just stop there.

Day Eighteen.

What do you collect?

I used to collect porcelain dolls.
But I've recently decided to sell the majority of them,
because they really don't matter as much to me anymore.
Now, I don't really think I collect anything.
No, wait.
Photographs.

I have hundreds of photographs and I don't want to get rid of them,
but I don't know what to do with them either.
They're like memories you can show off.

Day Nineteen.

What are twenty of your favorite things/things that make you happy?

1. Good food.

2. Sunshine.

3. Sewing.

4. New clothes.

5. Watching my child grow and learn.

6. A good book.

7. Snail mail.

8. A big glass of ice-water.

9. Picnics.

10. Exploring.

11. Flowers.
12. New friends.
13. Good sales.
14. Levi's laughter.

15. Driving with the windows down.

16. Pools.

17. Quiet time.

18. New Tutorials.

19. Texts.

20. Comments.

Day Twenty.

The hardest thing I've dealt with.

There are a couple things that were kind of equally hard...

In March of 2008, my friend Garrett died in a car crash.
Maybe one day I'll tell the story... he was a really great guy.
The best person I think I've ever known.
That was ridiculously rough,

some days it's still hard.

Last year, I was pregnant.
When I was 7, almost 8, months pregnant I received news from my son's father that tore me apart.
I couldn't eat for three days, not for lack of trying, but I just couldn't keep anything down.
I cried constantly, I don't think the crying even let up for those same three days.
Maybe one day I'll tell that story, too.

Today, however, I don't feel like opening old wounds.
Telling either story would do just that.
I'm really happy for the time being and don't want to do anything that could change that.
Sorry all!

Day Twenty-One.

My three celebrity crushes.

1. Jason Statham.
2. Rupert Grint.
3. Dierks Bentley.

I've met Dierks Bentley twice and he is just as gorgeous in person,
as well as a really nice guy.
His wife and daughter are two lucky ladies!

Day Twenty-Two.

What would I use lottery winnings for?

If I won the lottery, I would spend my winnings on:
A new house. Not necessarily a huge one, but a nice one, probably with four (maybe five, I want a large family one day) bedrooms.
One of which would become my sewing/craft room.

And of course I'd have to spend some of the money to furnish that house.
I'd buy a new car.
Possibly two.
I'd buy my mother a new car.
I would donate some.
I would put some in Levi's savings.
I would take plenty of vacations with Levi all over the world.
(I want to see the WHOLE world!)

Day Twenty-Three.

What's in my bag?

If you'll believe it,
I don't actually carry a bag.
I have a bag of all Levi's necessities that I'll toss in the car,
but I try to leave it in the car if I can.
I have my wallet, keys, and sunglasses.
I'll probably start carrying a bag soon.

Maybe.

Day Twenty-Four.

What is on your next 7 days to-do list?

- Go through all our stuff to de-clutter and SELL the things we don't need.

- See the dino exhibit at Union Station.

- Sew some baby girls items for a friend and sew some clothes for myself.
- A couple practice paintings done for a swap via Swap-Bot. (I'm pretty rusty.)
- Make up a new tutorial for my craft blog.
- Drop Levi's crib mattress.

- Have a couple play dates with some girls. =)
- Buy some necessities.

Day Twenty-Five.

What is my dream house?

I would say that my dream house would have plenty of bedrooms.
Probably six or so.
They could double as an office, craft, or guest room if I don't end up with enough kiddos to fill them.
With a pool.
Plenty of trees and flowers.
In a place with great, warm weather.
And a beautiful staircase that you see in the entryway.
And a large family room and a large kitchen with LOTS of counter space and double ovens.

Oh, and comes with a maid. =)

Day Twenty-Six.

What was my most surprising moment?

Definitely finding out I was pregnant.
Or, thinking I was pregnant, I guess.
Since I knew I was pregnant before I even took a test, I could feel it.
I just never imagined having a child at 19.
Ever.

Day Twenty-Seven.

What am I really good at?

I think I'm really good at sewing and being creative.
I'm no where near THE BEST, but I'm good.
And I really, really enjoy it.

I also think I'm really good at being a mom.
I love my job as a parent and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

....I was REALLY behind.
But not anymore!
=)

Budgeting.

2010-06-07T12:25:00.000-05:00

Sorry for not posting much lately.
I'm trying to fit in as much fun stuff and necessary stuff before going back to work full time.
I really need to get back on track with my blog journal...
but not today.

Today I want to talk about budgets.
I have been working on what will be my future budget after our big move.
(YES - I'm finally organizing a move into a place of our own.)
I'll be saving until then (planning to move late October) for emergencies.
And after that, I will have a limited income.

I'd like to get input from other single moms.
What do you budget for things like:
food?
necessities (what does this include for you)?
extra spending?
do you put any into your savings?

I have a rough budget figured out.
However, my problem is that a lot of the things I have no clue what to budget.

I'm terrified but excited at the same time.
It's going to be a lot of work with school, Levibear, and work.
But I think I'm ready for it.

I'm excited for us to have our own space.
Our own rooms.
A home that is MINE.
That feels so good to say...
I can't imagine how good it will feel when we're actually THERE.

Job Search, OVER.

2010-06-01T11:37:00.000-05:00

For now, anyway.

I'm officially returning to work at my previous job.
Working at a day center for developmentally disabled adults.
I loved this job, but had to quit because of the schedule and school and Levi.
I'm going back on July 1st, at least until school starts.
After that I'm not sure what is going to happen, but we'll see.

I'm really excited to spend days with all the clients again.
yay.

Not so excited about spending days away from my baby bear.
But we really need the money.
We can't keep living off of child support.

which direction.

2010-06-01T00:08:00.000-05:00

Special Needs Education?

OR

Radiology Tech?

OR

Accountant?

These are the courses I'm looking at taking for my life.
My problem is that I'm indecisive and I don't want to make the wrong decision.
I'm not sure that I can even make myself accurate pros and cons lists for each pathway.
Oh man.

Blog Journal

2010-05-24T20:39:00.000-05:00

I'm a little behind on my blog journal...
OOPS.

Let me catch up.
=)

Day Eleven:
Where I live.

I do not like where I am living.
If you already read my blog, you know this.
I live with my mom and my younger brother and sister,
and of course my son.
I wish that I could give Levi and I our own place, but since I can't seem to get a job, I'm not able to do that.

I live in a suburb of Kansas City.
I'm not a big fan of it, either.
But it's home.

Day Twelve:
My biggest regret.

If I could change something in my life, I honestly don't know what that would be.
I've messed up A LOT.
But, everything that has happened has led me to my wonderful son.
And I wouldn't change having him for anything, and I really think that changing any of the mistakes I have made would mean not having him.
Although, I really regret not going away to college when I had the chance.
I believe that that is a very important thing to experience in your life and I will never get to have that experience.
I skipped a step.

Day Thirteen:
What is my ideal age?

I have always said that being five years old is the best.
No worries, no stress, no responsibilities.
When you're that age, all you have to do is have fun.
That's it.
What's bad about that?

Crafty Mamas!

2010-05-21T14:01:00.000-05:00

If you missed it last time...

Special Kind of Different

is my new craft blog,

with my big sister.
=)

It's under construction still, it will be changing a lot in the months to come.
But check it out!

I prefer sewing crafts.
Lisa is a paper crafter.
Tutorials for every crafter.

It's coming a long slowly, but it'll get rolling quicker soon.
We'd love comments.
Show us your creations!

Day 10

2010-05-21T09:31:00.001-05:00

What am I afraid of?

Oh gosh.

If I haven't mentioned it before...
I'm the biggest baby ever.
I'll try to narrow down my fears for you.

I'm afraid of:
physical pain (this narrows down my fears because I don't have to list needles, etc.), the dark, something happening to my child, being alone forever, failure, spiders, mice, heights, and clowns.

Beginning my blog journal.

2010-05-20T01:33:00.000-05:00

I want to do this because it sounds like fun, so here we go...

My first 9 days in one post!
How exciting :)

Day 1: Intro
I'm not sure what to say! If you follow my blog, I'm sure you've learned something about me by now... I hope you enjoy my late start to this daily theme blog journal through Toddler Awesome.

Day 2: A day in the life of me!
I'll have to document this tomorrow and let you know later... but it'll probably be boring. My days right now don't include much.

Day 3: What are you most proud of?

People may look down on me for becoming pregnant at 19 years old and now becoming a single mother at 20... but I don't care. I am so beyond proud of this little boy... I'm loving seeing him grow and learn and I know that he's the wonderful baby he is because of my nurturing and care and love for him. I never imagined how wonderful it is to be a parent... I mean, I always wanted to be a mother, but now that I am one the feelings are so overwhelming and I'm proud to call myself a mom. And I am proud to call Levi MY son.

Day 4: My favorite holiday/vacation.

That's a tough choice.

I've loved nearly every holiday of my life... Holidays are my favorite times because I have a crazy family and being with all of them in one place is never boring and I'm surrounded by so much love, it's just wonderful.
But I've only been on one real vacation, so I'll go with that one.
No pictures, though, it was before my time with a digital camera and pictures on cd.
I was in 4th grade and we packed my family and my cousins into an RV and drove to the four corners.
It was a long, exhausting, and gloriously fun trip...
and every time we stopped and got out of the RV, we looked like a clown car.
All 9 of us.
I'd sit here and tell you amusing story after amusing story from this trip, but we'd be here far too long.
So I'll refrain.
Just know it was a great time.

=)

Day 5: 10 songs everyone should hear.
I used to have a massive music collection, but I lost it all in the great laptop tragedy.
So I'm going from scratch/memory.

-Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something.
-The Dance by Garth Brooks.

-Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler.

-I'll Pray for You by Jaron and the Long Road to Love.

-The Hand Song by Nickel Creek.
-Letters from War by Mark Schultz.
-Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson.

-You're Beautiful by James Blunt.

-Bad Day by Daniel Powter.

-Awaken the Music by Billy Gilman.

Day 6: Favorite foods and go-to recipe.

I love stir fry. I also love tacos... I've always loved tacos.
When I was two years old I was a taco eating fool.
Two years olds probably shouldn't be given tacos.
I once almost died choking on a taco shell,
don't give your two year old tacos.
But I loved them anyway.

I used to have a stir fry recipe that we made all the time.
I broke my last laptop and lost it forever.
Lately,
I've been eating egg salad sandwiches non-stop.
I guess that's my go-to recipe.
Mine are simple:
Egg salad between two slices of well toasted wheat bread.
If you don't know how to make egg salad...
Hard boiled eggs cut into small pieces.
Mayo.
Relish.
Paprika.
Mustard.
Salt/pepper.
Mix.

The end.
=)

Day 7: Senses.
What my senses are sensing at this very moment.
Sight: Medium on TV. I only love this show super late at night. Who knows why... any other time it bores me to death. And it's not because there's nothing else to watch because I have two episodes of Lost sitting in my DVR waiting for me to watch that I have yet to see.
Sound: See 'Sight.'
Taste: The taste of my mouth. haha. Because I'm currently not eating or drinking anything.
Although, I'd go for a sandwich if we had any egg salad.
Smell: Nothing. Sorry, day 7 is a boring one for me.
Feel: I can feel my legs getting very, very itchy and I'm not sure why. I definitely am not liking it, because it's reminding me of my absolutely miserable days of PUPPPS during my pregnancy.

Day 8: What romance means to me.
To me, romance is simply thinking of someone else and then putting them first. When you do something simple because you know or think it will make the person you know happy, even if it's only for a second. And even if it's painstakingly simple... sometimes the simplest things are the most romantic.
I don't know much romance in my life, I never have.
I've never dated a guy who was at all romantic with me.
But one day...

Day 9: My dream wedding.
I've often dreamed what my dream wedding would be, but I've never been able to decide:
Big or small?
Church or outdoors?
Summer, spring, or fall?
Color choices?
Dress styles?
Music?
There are so many choices... each of which would be wonderful to me in their own ways!
I guess we won't know until I'm there.
Sorry to disappoint!

money, money, monayyyyy.

2010-05-17T22:33:00.000-05:00

I'm at my wits end.
No jobs.
I have another interview coming up:

childcare.

However, it wouldn't provide enough to make us independent and we'd still have to live with my parents.

I don't want that,

but some money is better than no money.

money, money, money.

I've got to find a way to make money from my own efforts
and not by working for someone else.

Yes,
I'm planning an etsy store.
But I'll have to pack in creating whenever I can.
I'm not really very good at budgeting time.
Anyone who knows me knows this.
I'm really, really terrible at it actually.

But I'm going to try.
Bear goes to his dad's house an evening during the week, an overnight, and Sunday afternoons.
I'll have to fit in cleaning, and shopping for supplies (along with necessities), and sewing/creating.
That will all be hard for me, with my terrible time management skills.

But who says I can't make it happen?

yay. yay. and did I mention - yay?

2010-05-14T19:33:00.000-05:00

I have so many plans.
(But don't I always.)

First off:
IT'S SUMMER.
(officially, for me, school's over.)

I've got those sewing orders (practically) finished.

I have two interviews coming up.
woo-hoo!

Scentsy Party on Sunday.

Going to the zoo on Tuesday.

And then...

I'm going to work on some gifts for friends who're having/had babies,
and...

try to whip up some products for the new Etsy store I'll be opening.

I'm crazy excited.
I'm praying to get the job I have the first interview for.
It would be wonderful.
OH man.

Anyway,
I'll quit my rambling and let you get on with your day.

Adeu!

P.S.

(Don't worry - Grandma was right out of frame for safety!)

Back to the Future?

2010-05-10T23:27:00.002-05:00

I've re-introduced myself to the world of AIM.
Wanna talk to me?
IM: imlilanglnot

=)

Mother's day.

2010-05-09T21:02:00.001-05:00

Today,
we spent the day at the zoo.
Levibear, his momma, his grandmama, and his aunt and uncle.

it was such a good time.

the weather was perfect - not too hot and not too cold.

it sprinkled for 5 minutes or so, but other than that...

perfect!

Today,
I celebrated my first real Mother's Day.
And I got THE BEST present from my baby bear.
His daddy totally surprised me.
I cried.
Literally.

Today,
I've been looking at all these pictures people are posting of their mothers,
from back in the day.
And they're all so beautiful and elegant.
I hope one day the bear looks at my pictures from "back in the day"
and thinks those things of me.
Mostly I want him to be proud of his momma.

Today,
I sent a peace-making letter to Levibear's papa.
I hope good things come of it.
I'm praying it works out for the best.

Today,
Will be a day I'll remember.
I'm thankful for my baby bear.
He's my life.
I love him with everything that I have.
I can hardly remember life without him.
And I pray that I'll never know what life without him is like again.

HAPPY MOMMA'S DAY.
<3

I just don't know what to do.

2010-05-01T21:24:00.000-05:00

I am so beyond frustrated that I'm on the verge of tears.
I need a job so badly.
I'll take anything.
I'm applying everywhere and looking everywhere.
Hiring and "accepting applications."
And still nothing.
For months and months.

I need to provide for my child and for myself.
I need to get us out and on our own.
I need to have more income than just child support.

But no one seems to want to hire me and I have no idea why.
I'm a hard worker.
I'm trustworthy.
I'm not going to screw up a job that I need.

Love.

2010-04-28T23:40:00.000-05:00

Please tell me I'm not the only person in love with this table?

Seriously, if I had anywhere to put it...
I'd make it in two seconds flat.

It's just so...
Pretty.
<3

(check it out here.)

New Goals

2010-04-26T23:07:00.000-05:00

I know, I know.
I missed the goals again.

This past week is a bit of a blur to me.
So I'm not sure how I did on last weeks goals.

But I will make new ones.

1. My baby bear is having surgery tomorrow, my first goal is to make it through the day without saying something spiteful to his father. Or anything mean, really.
We're really not on good terms at the moment, I'm not sure we ever will be again.

2. Raise my physics grade to a C (This is a longer term goal.)

3. Sew like a mad woman (When I'm not doing homework, that is)

Tutorial Time!

2010-04-26T12:55:00.000-05:00

Shirts too big?

Surely I'm not the only one swimming in some of her clothes?
I've written a tutorial for resizing those too-big shirts.
=)

It's my first, so be kind!
(Not that anyone's ever been unkind here...
y'all are so great!)

Baby legs? Boys?

2010-04-26T02:45:00.002-05:00

Ch-ch-ch-check it out.

My little bear now has some pretty great baby legs.
I've blogged about it over on my NEW craft blog.

=)

Follow us, please!
(if you're a fellow crafter.)

Oh... there's a brand new picture of the babe there too!

p.s.
note to self -
buy those foam letter mats to go under Levi's playpen...
hitting his head on the floor so much can't be a good thing!

I've had a lot on my mind lately.

2010-04-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

Well, now I have an interview tomorrow for a nanny position.
This would be a good job.
Full-time, one child, in town.
Caregiving is my top choice, job-wise.
I'm getting really quite discouraged with all these job possibilities.

I've enrolled for classes for the fall.
Despite deciding to take the semester off.
I will have three classes, but only two classes at a time.
Because one class is a full semester class and the other two are only 8 week courses.
Mostly online.
I'll only go to class on Wednesday nights.

I want to make enough to be able to move out with a roommate.
But maybe I'll try to just rent a room, although I'd rather Levi be able to finally have his own room.
And I want him to have a yard and his own swingset and sandbox.
Meaning... not an apartment.
...sigh.

Just thinking about all of it wears me out.
Not to mention, finals coming up.
The guy I've been talking to.
Trying to keep everyone else happy and all the fights that are constantly going on.
Starting over-nights with my baby bear's daddy.
Cleaning the giant mess that is our room.
And organizing.
Finishing orders.
Mother's day.
Money.
Food.

...stress.

Wish Me Luck!

2010-04-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

I'm turning in yet another job application this week.
And I'm hoping it will be my last.
Bed, Bath and Beyond.
PLEASE hire me.
PLEASE.

Other than that...
I've finished my valance order.
(Well, one is the wrong size, so after I shorten it... I'll be REALLY finished.)
=)
I need to buy fabric for the cushion cover order.
And then the baby order.
Woo-hoo.

I'm excited to get them done.
I'm also excited to only have,
what?
two weeks?
of class left.
MAYBE two and a half.
I'm not 100% sure.
But either way...
...YAY!

I had planned not to enroll in classes for the fall semester,
and just work full time instead.
Well, I ended up enrolling.
Mostly online.
I will go to class on wednesdays,
that's it.
The rest is online.
Three classes, but I'll only have two classes at a time.
It'll be a lot of work because two of my classes are 8 week classes.
Which means they'll be INTENSE.
But... I've done one before, I'm sure I can do it again.

But will my grades be good enough?
I hope so.
=(

Goals

2010-04-19T12:39:00.000-05:00

I'm a day behind on my goals.
But I think that it's safe to say I successfully accomplished all of my goals
(or guidelines)
for the past week.

I did not let out any insults while I was angry
(other than: do not contact me again)
I did not have a break down
I didn't spend as much time as I would have liked with friends, but I feel good about what I did.

My new goals for the week include:
- being positive from day to day.
- strive to please other people before myself.
- remember: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
(I often get spiteful and say mean things just to say them... I don't want to be that person any longer.)

I would love to...

2010-04-18T17:06:00.000-05:00

- Buy this for my little bear, who constantly wants momma's computer.
- Get my hair cut and styled and get my nails done.
- Have a bike trailer, so my little bear and I can enjoy nature on a bike this summer.
- Have someone call me for an interview and actually end up hiring me.
- Get all A's for just one semester.
- Be able to rely on the Daddy, so that I can some real stuff done.
- Have my lab report magically write itself.
- Be able to spend every day, all day just playing and being silly with my baybayyy.
- Have the time to do more crafting.
- Be finished with school some time soon.
- Go swimming (and get a new bikini first.).
- Look completely put together and adorable every day.
- Get a DSLR camera, a scanner, and a printer for my laptop (and photoshop.).

Hmm... oh the things I want.

BIG NEWS.

2010-04-14T22:23:00.001-05:00

Well, to start...
my Windows 2007 trial JUST ended.
Like, with this post.
Ugh.
How frustrating.

Oh...
You want the real news?

Head on over here and check out...
my big sister and my...
100%...
craft blog!
(btw, it's under construction... SORRY!)

Woo-hoo!
I'm so excited.
I know I meant this blog to be a crafty blog,
but it hasn't exactly turned out that way, has it?
But now I'll be able to write up some tutorials,
show off a little bit,
I think we'll also eventually be opening an etsy store.
=)
Links for that, too.

Watch out!

2010-04-12T01:14:00.002-05:00

I've joined the ranks of twitter.
Not promising I'll be a good tweeter.
(whaaaat?!)
But... let's find out.

Follow me?

Today

2010-04-11T23:51:00.000-05:00

We had the best day.
Following a not-so-good day that I'm proud to say I stayed mostly positive through until 11pm last night when I completely lost it.
And I do mean completely.

But we're talking about TODAY.

We celebrated the first birthday of our absolute favorite little girl.
I can't show you her picture, due to her mother's wishes, but I can tell you that she's gorgeous.
And energetic.
And over all wonderful.

We ate.

And played.

And opened presents.

And played, and played, and played.
For hours and hours.
It wore the little bear out.
He was totally passed out on the way home.

And I enjoyed the shopping I got to do for girly clothes beforehand.
And spending time with one of my best friends in the world with the most important people in her life.
I'm so happy to be considered one of those people.
And that I get to be a part of the joy in their lives,
because God knows that they bring so much joy to mine.

I'm looking forward to summer and spending some much needed quality time with the both of them.
It will definitely keep my spirits up.
Beautiful and energetic ladies always do inspire me.
:)

Thanks for the day Emily and Miss Brylee.
We love you both.

Did I achieve my goals?

2010-04-11T23:37:00.001-05:00

Well... I did get part of the valance order done! woo-hoo!
Success.

I did finish all my homework (all ONE assignment. :) ) and didn't even get my test back, so it's cool.
Success.

I did not achieve my goal of not fighting.
Not by a long shot.
I fear that any chance of this ever happening is long gone...
He's insistent on us appearing in court, rather than making a legal agreement quietly and cooperatively.
We get into it over just about everything.
I won't talk about why,
but if you think you may be able to help - you can email me and I'll tell you what I can.

We'll be going to court.
We're both looking into lawyers.
It kills me.
I cried so many tears over the whole thing last night. The idea of appearing in court over this, in my head, symbolizes that our situation has hit the absolute lowest possible place.
I'm not okay with that.
My son is likely to never know what it's like to have his parents even in the same room together.
I wanted him to view his parents as friends.
That will never happen.
I can't stop myself from crying even as I type it - every time the thought even flitters across my mind for half a second, my chin starts to quiver and I feel the tears swell up and I have no control over it.

I only wanted the best life for my child.
The happiest family situation he could possibly have with parents who are separated.
He won't get that.
He'll know a terrible situation.
An unhappy situation.

I can't even stand it.

But back to the point...
Next weeks goals are thus:

1. Bite your tongue when you feel spiteful; remember the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

2. Spend ample time amongst good friends. Friends who will only say positive things and whom inspire you.

3. Do not give in to an emotional/physical breakdown.
I guess they're more like guidelines than goals, but they're what I need to concentrate on for this week.

2010-04-07T12:27:00.001-05:00

In case you haven't noticed…
I am not a positive person.
By nature, I'm just not.

But I'm working on becoming one.
I am not at all the person I would like to be.
However, I believe that I can become that person.
I can change myself.

What I am not (but would like to be):

I am not a morning person.
I am not good with time management.
I am not good at being alone… I need people. Friends.
I am not employed.
I am not big on exercising.
I am not organized.
I am not generally positive.

What I am, however, is smart.
I am logical.
I know I can become the person I aspire to be.
I just know that I can't try to change it all at once.
This has been my mistake in the past.
Instead, I will take one thing at a time.

There is a problem, however.
I may not know how to go about changing myself into these things that I am not.
If you are any of the thing that I am not…

Well, I could use some advice.

Failure. That’s what I am.

2010-04-05T23:48:00.001-05:00

Let's talk about those goals.
I failed.
Again.

I told you I'm not so good at this whole goal thing.
But I am trying.

I did not finish the valances, but I did work on them!
I did not wake up by 9am every day… not even close.
I did finish all my homework.
Except todays, but that doesn't count… today was Monday.

New goals?

1. Do not fight with the Daddy-bear… not once. About anything. Or with his girlfriend.
2. Spend plenty of time on valance/cushion order (with a babysitter?)
3. Finish all homework, and do not burst into tears when I get my Physics test back I took today.
(it was terrible, I assure you I failed.)

Well, I would say I'm off to bed, but really I'm off…
to browse etsy.

Sweet dreams.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-03T23:26:00.000-05:00

He's mad cause he's hungry... I took too long to get a picture and missed his smiles.

Baby Love.

2010-04-01T23:48:00.002-05:00

I got the best text today.
THE best.

Want to know what I saw?
…
…

the cutest little girl in the world.
yep.
Her name is Kloe.

I made those ruffle-butt onesies.
They were her hospital gift way back in early December.

I literally squealed in delight when I saw it.
I never get to see them.
That one little text totally made my day.

What a perfect model.
<3

Btw, I used this tutorial.

Weekly Goals

2010-03-28T13:46:00.001-05:00

Let's recap last week's goals, shall we?

1. Exercise for at least 20 minutes every day.
2. Complete all homework.
3. Wake up by 8am, every day.
4. Read at least one book to Levi each day.

Hmm…
Exercise: Fail. I only exercised one, maybe two day.
Homework: This is the goal I thought I wouldn't achieve, and it was actually the only one I DID achieve!
8am: MAJOR fail. Mornings are hard for me, I find myself preferring to stay up during the night instead.
Books: We did not read a book each day, however, the main point of this goal was to achieve more quality time with the bear, which we did… we just didn't happen to read any books during that time. Maybe a couple, but not one a day.

50% would be an F in school, but I don't feel too badly about it.
I know I'm terrible at keeping goals – that's part of the point, to get better at it.
It's a process.

This week's goals:

1. Complete all homework (until this becomes a habit, it will continue to be a weekly goal)
2. Wake up by 9am, every day. (9am should be a little easier to achieve than 8, right?)
3. Complete Valance order. (A woman ordered valances and cushion covers from me months ago, neither of with are done :/)

I'm sticking with three goals for this week.
The valances will be a big one. Between class and Levi, I either don't have the time to do them or I just don't FEEL like doing them when I do (I usually just feel like napping or laying around by that point)
The trick will be getting Levi to play by himself for long enough spurts of time that I can actually progress some each day (including homework!).

Wish me luck!

The David Project

2010-03-26T14:47:00.001-05:00

I need to share something with you all.
The few people who read my blog,
and for whom I am quite thankful.

Carly
and her family,
have been through hardships in the past.
Hardships I can't even imagine.
I admire their strength, because,
honestly, I don't know that I could make it.
They lost a child years ago,
yet she still manages to find the joy in life.

Carly has started The David Project.
She's taking donations to buy books for the children in the pediatric unit of their local hospital.
In memory of David.

She asks for $1.00 donations.
That's so simple.
Why not send more?

You can send donations to:
1820 Worcester, Oxford, Michigan 48371

I'll be placing my envelope in the mail tomorrow.
Will you?

Curious?

2010-03-26T13:52:00.004-05:00

Going back through my blog,

I realized I never posted a picture of my baby bear when he was FRESH.
You ever wonder what a brand new 10 pound baby looks like NEW?

Well here's your answer...

That's my baby bear,
right after he was born almost 6 months ago.
All 10 lbs and 5 ounces of him.
<3

Just showing off. :)

2010-03-25T21:30:00.000-05:00

When did he get so grown up??

It Breaks My Heart…

2010-03-25T21:12:00.005-05:00

We're sitting here watching Maury.
The entire episode is about these YOUNG teenagers.
YOUNG.
13, 14, and 15 years old.
And they're all determined to have babies.
Determined.
They don't care who with… complete strangers even.

It's so scary.
If only they REALLY understood what they're doing.

I'm a young mother.
I never considered myself a "Teen Mom" though.
But even still, it's hard by yourself.
It's hard without a college degree.

Just watching, I wanted to PLEAD to these kids to WAIT.
I love my son more than anything,
but things would be so much better if he would have come after I finished college.
I don't think the situation would even have to be different any other way.
But if I just could have been finished with college first…
WAIT.
Please.

What's even worse…
There are SO MANY other kids just like these girls.
(There was even a boy!)
If only all of them could be subjected to the treatment Maury put these kids through.
I'm sure teen pregnancy would be pretty much non-existent.

If you haven't seen the show;
Maury takes the couple
(a 14 year old boy and a 15 year old girl who are determined to have a baby)
and makes them care for twin girl babies for 24 hours under supervision.
Afterwards they were crying and holding their mothers talking about how hard it was and that they weren't ready.

There were three other girls…
they took these girls to a place like Rachel House,
a home for teen mothers who have nowhere else to go.
Speaking to the mothers there seemed like a big reality check.
Then they took them to a cemetery and showed them a HUGE unmarked grave;
all teenagers; runaways, etc., and their children.

"I ain't havin' no baby!"
These are the words one of the most determined girls told her mother afterwards.

It was such an amazing change.
Maury isn't all about drama.
He HELPS.
I firmly believe his show saved these five kids' lives.
If only every teenager knew.
If only they could experience it for 24 hours first.
If only they had someone to SHOW them…

Every day goals. Yes, EVERY DAY.

2010-03-22T21:16:00.001-05:00

I'm "borrowing" this idea from another blogger over on And Baby Makes Two.
Making, and blogging about weekly goals. This is a new thing for her, and it will become a new, weekly thing for me as well.
I'll make a few fairly simple, short term goals for the week. The number of goals will probably vary.
And then I will let you know about the outcome of those goals then next week when I make my new goals.
=)

This week's goals:
("this week" will be March 21^st – 27^th)
1. Exercise for at least 20 minutes every day.
2. Complete all homework.
3. Wake up by 8am, every day.
4. Read at least one book to Levi each day.

I've never done well with goals.
Just so you know.
But I have a good feeling about this.

Actually, I have a good feeling about a lot of things lately.
I don't quite know why, but I'm really not going to question.

I have a free 30-day gym pass.
Using that for the next few weeks until it expires, for sure.
I have a WiiFit Plus.
Love it, going to use it more often.
Thinking about buying a work-out video.
Biggest Loser: Power Sculpt? Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred?
I haven't decided.

And we're going to take walks every day that it's nice out, for exercise.

Homework will be an issue.
I have NO motivation for school what so ever.
I'm thinking about taking a short break and working full time.
I think I just need the refresher.

I'm a night owl.
I can wake up early when I have some where to be.
But of my own accord… eleven is about the norm.
8am? EARLY.

Levi loves books.
This will probably be the easiest to get done.
But I'm ashamed of how little one-on-one time I've spent with him lately.
I'm fixing that.

I might be crazy. Just a little bit.

2010-03-15T16:22:00.005-05:00

LeviBear will be 6 months old at the beginning of next month.

Time has flown!
I feel like people were just finding out I was pregnant, yet...
That was a year ago at least!

Is it sad that I've already begun planning his first birthday party?
Because I have.
I want it to be perfect!
Not for him, of course. But for me.

And, yes. I am one of those parents that will throw a LARGE bash for their 1-year-old.
My mom hates that.
I haven't informed her yet.
=)

My baby bear?
I can't believe how grown up he is already.

Wanna see the finished product?

2010-03-07T17:36:00.004-06:00

Tisk. Tisk. Tisk.

2010-03-02T23:34:00.006-06:00

OOKAYYY.

So maybe I'm not back as early as I promised.
Bad girl.

However, I'm job searching like crazyyyy!
I've had one interview, no good.
I have another interview tomorrow - hoping it goes better than the last one.

Also - I'm being crafty and artsy!
YAY.
Wanna see?

None of these are finished, they're all going to be done in watercolors...
...eventually.

I'm going to do an entire ballet series.
Because I <3 Ballerinas.
And I'm jealous of them.
REALLY jealous.

Watch for prints of them on Etsy!
They'll be coming.
:)

WOO-HOO.

2010-01-30T14:31:00.001-06:00

New Laptop. :)

Asus. Excited.

Expect plenty of posts starting next week!

(This week I am far too busy with a full time job, school, and a baby.... but next week, no more job!)

Finally I can give an update!

2009-12-28T16:06:00.003-06:00

I'm a bad blogger. I apologize. :(

With a broken computer, it is awfully hard to keep up with posts. Using a family computer I hardly have time for email! UGH.

However... I'm job hunting, and I'm praying to have a job in the next couple weeks. Once that happens... NEW COMPUTER. woo-hoo! A long with some other stuff.

Levi's first Christmas was wonderful! He's been majorly spoiled. I'm taking a picture of him with all of his presents as soon as he wakes up from his nap, I'll post it later. :) This one was taken Christmas day:

We took it while waiting for that Daddy Bear to come over. This was the bear's BIG present... and he LOVES it. It has a kick bar on the bottom that makes racecar noises and cracks him up.

We were in the middle of a Blizzard ALL christmas eve and christmas day... Papa Bear couldn't make it over to open presents until Christmas night, and he tried all day but his little car kept getting stuck. But we had a good Christmas none the less. :)

School starts January 11th.

mmmm... yay?

ETA ::
We've been discussing moving plans for me and the bear (yippeeee!) for after I acquire a job! I. can't. wait.